exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
