You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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