I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
