im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize