Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
