so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize