I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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