i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
