goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
