But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
