I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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