maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
You can't special order awesome
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Slut skills are useful in every country.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
