what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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