Three words: puerto rican gang bang
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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