More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
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I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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