She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize