I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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