yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
