she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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