If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
