This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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