So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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