We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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