Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
