A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize