I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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