y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
