I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
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