I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
