where does the pee come out of this thing
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I have so many feelings about this burrito
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
