STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
