when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
