Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
