I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
