he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
