Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Come share oat with me in your robe
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
