don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
