At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
