i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
