Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
