i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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