Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
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