If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
