the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
