You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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