i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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