i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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