Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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