my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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