Your face is a jimmy john
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
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You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
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So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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