drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
