I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
