rhymes with "ouble enetration"
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Randomize
