I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize