How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Dicks are not precious.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
