My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
