My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
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I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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