Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize