how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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