There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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