I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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