I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
