She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I didn't notice because vodka
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
