Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
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