I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
