I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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