Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize