I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
